Settling In Susraal

Assalam-o-alaikum Ustazah,
During my recent visit, I reached my parents (mayka) first, and then travelled with them to my in-laws (susraal) to attend my brother-in-law's marriage. Alhamdulillah everything was fine, I spent some time with the in-laws and some with my parents, khala and phoppo etc in the same house.
But when they left a day after the marriage (while I stayed back) I realised that I really hadn't focussed on my in-laws while my family was there. When my family had left, I felt the presence of my sister in laws, I actually talked to them about different things, shared with them, spent time with them. Similarly, when my family was here I was more inclined (or totally inclined) towards my sister's kids but after they left I felt the presence of the kids of my husband's sisters. I talked to them, joked with them and enjoyed being with them.
In our culture, I have seen families (parents) very often adhering very closely to the daughter when she gets married. Now I see, if I can't settle in my susraal after 18 years of marriage in the presence of my family...how can a newly married girl settle in her in-laws if she goes to meet her family every week or they come over every week and they call her every day.
May Allah guide all us parents to help our daughters settle in their new home independently.
Ameen Wasalaam
Shazia Afzal