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Alhamdulillah today I listened to the first part of Al-mulk...
I had been struggilg to find time for it but somehow things would always come in the way and so it got delayed day after day. This morning I really had to fight my burning eyes, to keep awake after fajar and complete this lesson. I was so drowsy because I could not sleep on time the night before and my whole body felt like floating in an air of dreams. Normally I don't do any worthwhile job in this dizzy state but today I was determined that I cannot keep waiting for a perfect time and state... which might or might never come. Thus began my trip into the world of reality...
The first surprise i got was that our day begins at night!! I used to have this belief all along but it had sounded kind of crazy... telling other people... don't wait for the day to begin your day but start planning the night before. But the mistake I used to make was that I would plan just seconds before going to bed and then would get so excited and worried for the completion of my tasks that my sleep would disappear!! and then a sleepless night would end up in a drowsy morning... absent-minded prayer... spiritless reading of Quran with yawning and half closed eyes.... finally hitting the bed again and wasting all the precious moments into a state of oblivion.
The solution is that after maghrib take some time to sit and send durood on the Prophet (s.a.w)... and then plan for the rest of evening and night...eating dinner on time... so that sleeping on time can be possible. no heavy food... No arguments in this time... no excited discussions... just quiet and peaceful time with children while putting them to bed... then reading isha and trying to recite Surah Al-Mulk while standing in front of Allah... then bedtime duas and some reading to soothe your nerves and off to sleep...
Next lesson was to focus not on just the quantity of my deeds but also on the quality. I have to think of how to put better quality into anything that I do. For example saying "Astaghfirullah" hundred times is a job which takes 100 seconds but I can make it "high quality" by thinking how to get rid of my persistent bad habits...
Recitation of the Quran can be perfected
Prayers can be made into more deep and spiritual meeting with Allah
dealing with people wth not just a show odf manners but really and truly wishing them well and wanting to help them
always thinking of ways to be beneficial for others
keeping a check on my intentions
I thought that Allah gave us the target of ahsan amal so that our whole lives can be spent in chasing this goal and we might never ever be confident that really now I have reached this level... How amazing is the choice of Allah's words... Seemingly so simple but in effect so mysterious and always keeping one working and hoping and fearing all at once...
just like the example of the seven skies in the next ayaat... man can go into spce nd keep exploring going higher and higher but never quite reaching the end... because there is no end... Allah wants us to just keep searching... life is just a journey and we have to prove ourselves as the best of travellers... the destination is not here but there!!
May Allah save us from the fire and make us one of those who truly fear him and not even dare to go against His wishes... because for them is His forgiveness and ajrun kabeer..
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